Let Your Faith be Bigger Than Your Fear

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Did you know that in Germany, the public health insurance covers only 3 scans during the entire pregnancy (unless there’s a medical need)? So unless your gynaecologist is very interested in scans, you’ll probably have to fork out of your own pocket for extra checks. We’re that sort of parents who want to know EVERYTHING going on inside so we paid for the extras.

According to my midwife, and I quote her, “The more checks you have, the more shit you get.” She said it in German and translated it for me. Apparently there’s some sort of German word play to the saying.

Well, she’s definitely right. I’ve lost count of the number of ultrasounds I’ve got. Most women have only one anomaly scan to check the baby’s organs and development around their 20th week. I’ve had that done THREE times. And each time, I learn something new about myself (thank God Theodore’s fine!).

In my first trimester, the gynaecologist couldn’t detect Theodore’s heartbeat in Week 9. That day still haunts me. It stressed the both of us out so much until the 5th of Feb when we felt his first kick on the outside.

For the first time in my life in my second trimester did I learn of my lovely heart-shaped uterus. Doctors started filling me in on the possible consequences of it. They then started to scan us more regularly. All went well.

By the third trimester, doctors weren’t optimistic about Theodore turning head down. But he did in week 35! Yay!!! By the 37th week, our boy decided that a head stand isn’t what he likes and is now a breech baby again. So much for saying that he won’t be flipping around, because he obviously is throwing some sort of party in there!

The constant worry has now turned into important decision making time. I’ll be undergoing a MRI to see if it’s possible to have a breech baby naturally. The only comfort I have is that Frankfurt’s Uniklinik specialises in breech natural births and there will be 3 Professors on-site to ensure a safe delivery if we did go for it.

When we found out about the pregnancy, I was excited but scared. I was terrified of labour and the pain that came along with it. However, over the past few months I realised that I no longer fear that unimaginable pain. I’m not even afraid of the after-pain followed by a c-section even though I have pretty low tolerance of it.

Consultation time with doctors can be scary. Part of their job is to inform patients of all the risks and that does scare the crap out of me. The information they feed me consumes me. Day and night I’ll think through every word they’ve said, every opinion they’ve given. I’ll weigh the pros and cons. Knowledge is a double-edged sword.

Right now, I just want us to make the best, informed decision. And may whatever faith I have lead us to make the right choice on Thursday.

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6 thoughts on “Let Your Faith be Bigger Than Your Fear

    1. It’s actually not too expensive in Germany. Some gyns don’t even charge for extras I heard. And if you’re referred to the hospital, you don’t pay a cent for it out of pocket as insurance covers it.

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