23 May 2014 changed our lives forever. A little precious boy was born. He is our first child, Theodore.
Just like how the entire pregnancy went, Theodore’s birth wasn’t straight forward either. In fact, it was traumatising for all three of us (myself, Theodore and Daniel). Although I was prepared to have a c-section should natural birth failed, I wasn’t prepared to be rushed into theatre for an emergency c-section without Daniel. My placenta had ruptured leaving doctors to race against time to save Theodore. I remember screaming my lungs out as doctors wheeled me into theatre and I felt extremely cold and scared.
Theodore probably doesn’t remember the trauma he went through, yet whenever I look in his eyes I feel the pain and distress he had undergone. What a tough start to life!
I woke up in the recovery room feeling dazed and everything felt surreal to me. I didn’t even know I had given birth since I didn’t experience any contractions or labour. I slipped in and out of consciousness as I was all drugged up. Little wonder that the c-section wound didn’t hurt me much after that.
Our boy spent a week in neo-natal care. The first 5 days were spent in intensive care hooked up to machines, oxygen tube, feeding tube etc. Each time I saw him, I cried my heart out. I was absolutely heart broken even though nurses reassured me that Theodore wasn’t in any pain. Whenever I returned to my hospital room, tears fell freely down my cheeks as I was separated from my boy and I felt utterly helpless. Unlike Daniel who remained strong and optimistic for us, I questioned why my son had to suffer.
Our beautiful boy was born with clubfeet which requires his feet to be in casts for 5-7 weeks before undergoing a minor surgery. Everyone tells me it’s a condition that can be sorted out and the doctors treating him are well confident too. Each week I look forward to Thursday which is “cast-changing” day. It’s the only day in the week where I get a few minutes to massage his legs, feel the flesh and warmth of them and kiss them. With each kiss I plant on his legs, I pray for the strength to help my boy through this.
Today Theodore is 2 weeks old. Time flies with a baby, doesn’t it? I haven’t completely put the episode behind me. I still can’t talk about it without being upset and I do have fears of losing my boy after nearly losing him twice. How strange that a few minutes of my life two weeks ago have such a great effect on me. Yes, his screaming and never ending feeding demands do drive me up the wall at times, but I’m so glad he’s here to boss me around.
We love this little darling to bits!