For the past 7 weeks I’ve been asking myself this question “Why is my son born with clubfeet?” Even though his feet have been corrected by a series of casts, I find it hard to talk about his treatment.
Every aspect of my life seemed so perfect and worry-free till I saw his feet. I felt like my world had crumbled, utterly helpless as to what I could do. I should be a really happy new mum with such a lovely boy. However I was also terribly upset that he was simply born this way. Logically speaking, I knew it wasn’t my fault and it wasn’t within my control; yet I felt guilty for not “giving” him what others would call “normal feet”.
All the crying I did wasn’t helping in any way apart from worrying Daniel. Thankfully he’s a really supportive, loving and patient husband. Each time I crumble and break into pieces, he would pick me up and fix me.
Although the orthopedist warned us that Theodore could be upset for a few days when he moved on to have the bar and brace on, I wasn’t prepared for it. Who knew that it would take my smiley, easy-going boy away?
However 1.5 days later, Theodore was soon back to his normal self! He even started being as narcissistic as me – looking in the mirror and smiling to himself!
To help him cope with the changes, I tell him that Alfa the Bear (the brace is known as the Alfa Flex Brace which has a bear on it) is our friend who will help Theodore fly him to the moon. In order to accomplish that, Mama has to fix the bar to his shoes. And we’ll not shed a tear in the process because Alfa is here to help him get better. It could be coincidence that Theodore just so happened to have adapted to the changes, but I would like to think that the story helps.
To help him feel safe, my midwife kindly lent me a Hoppediz wrap to carry Theodore. Unfortunately with the brace, we can’t use the Manduca till he only wears the bar at night. The wrap does take getting used to on my part but Theodore seemed to enjoy being close to me.
I reckon my boy is a lot stronger than I think he is. I could keep asking myself why this has to happen to him, why it has to happen to our family, however, I now know why. My boy had a tough start in life with the birth but he survived. He’s given this path in life because he is strong enough to live it.