I left my post-natal class last Thursday with a message. A message so many new parents forget upon the birth of their children. We may be a family of three now, but Dan and I are still a couple.
In the early days of having Theodore, while I was basking in happiness of having such a lovely boy, I missed Daniel a lot. Like A LOT. As we were trying to cope with a new person with never ending demands, we didn’t have time for each other. It was difficult to have a quiet meal together (without rushing through it) and definitely impossible to watch a DVD in peace. I missed our “couple time”. Even though Dan had a month off work and was with me 24/7, I missed the old “us”.
The months flew by very quickly. Gosh, Theodore is turning 20 weeks this Friday. Already!?!?! We soon got to know our little
rascal darling better. We knew what made him happy (or upset) and what time of the day he’ll get cranky (basically from 7pm because he wants to sleep around 8pm).
And because we know our boy better, we’re more relaxed when it comes to parenting him. That means we get to be a couple AGAIN! There are obviously things that have changed. For instance, we bring Theodore out for meals with us because I don’t trust employing an outsider for my baby. But if you’re family, PLEASE TAKE HIM BY ALL MEANS! I know you’re all eager to spend time with this little man! Hahaha!!!
We still go on our walks along the river and go on lunch dates on the weekends. Some may say it’s not really a couple date since we bring a baby along, however, Theodore’s really well behaved (better not jinx it) at this age still. At most, he sits on my lap and watch us eat. We still get the time to catch up with each other, and be silly.
I think it’s important to not let having a baby change our relationship negatively. Since change is inevitable, it’s vital that we make the changes a positive experience.
Isn’t it great that I get to discuss such topics with other women at my post-natal class? It isn’t just a class to burn calories and get back into shape. The class has helped me address issues we (as a couple) face at home and how we’re coping. I think it’s a great idea to share our experiences and know that however sleep deprived we are or whatever problems we have as new parents, we are not alone.